he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
