distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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