When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
