Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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