Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
