I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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