he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
