Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
