Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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