I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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