I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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