He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
