hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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