oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
