I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
