Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
