I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
