I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
