that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
