This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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