they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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