New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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