grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just high enough for therapy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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