Barsexuality is the new black.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
