high people should be assigned attendants
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
