I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
