Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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