Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
