he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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