no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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