I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
