THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
