party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
