have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Randomize
