I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
