one two three fourrrrnication!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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