I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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