I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
