did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
