Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
