honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
