3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
