Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
