so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
