you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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