so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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