I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
