The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
