butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
