By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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