hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
