I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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