I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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