I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
